Why Pessimists Make the Best Optimists

Maybe pessimism isn't such a curse if multiple pessimists join forces. Somehow we pessimists turn our natural negativity around for good when we're together.

Quick disclaimer: Be warned, this opinion comes from the perspective of a serious pessimist. Two of them, really (so take it with as many grains of salt as you see fit).

We are two pessimists who’ve lived under one roof for several years now.  And when we say pessimist, we mean all the lovely second-hand glasses at our house are almost always half empty. You might think that this would be a recipe for miserable disaster. Picture two girls at home alone wallowing in despair, egging each other on into deeper depression, uselessness, and weepy movie marathons... terrible! 

But it’s not like that.

Just because we’re pessimistic does not mean we can't see the bright side. We can see it, and we like to see it. And just because we’re pessimists doesn’t mean that we don’t have joy. We laugh every day, and we love it.

And the thing is--even though we naturally take a negative viewpoint--there is another instinct that takes over sometimes, particularly if one of us is feeling down. We want to help each other feel better, so we instinctively take turns at holding a positive view.

Love is stronger than pessimism.

As fellow pessimists, we understand what it’s like to feel negative and why we react to situations the way we do. We also understand each other pretty well after 14 years of friendship.

For instance, when Brandie is giving a depressed Chelsea very reasonable advice and Chelsea glares at Brandie, Brandie understands that that glare means that she is listening, and she knows that her friend is right. If Chelsea lived with an optimist, that optimist friend might interpret that glare differently and have her feelings hurt, deciding to stop giving Chelsea advice (and thereby leaving Chelsea to wallow in her negativity). Brandie is neither offended nor deterred. She simply smiles back at her. And vice versa. 

We are so thankful that when one of us is down, the other is almost always ready to pick her up and shine some perspective on the situation.

In our experience, optimists always looks at the bright side, often making nice but largely-unhelpful statements like “this is happening for a reason,” or “it’s always darkest before the dawn,” or “this is a season,” or “I’m sure it’s not all bad,” or “don’t worry, be happy." This is sweet and well-intentioned, but pessimists like us don’t respond very well to nice generalizations like these.  Instead, we respond to reasonable arguments exposing the flaws in our own outlooks. Because we’re not just spouting off happy sayings at each other, we can logically determine what might be effective and helpful advice.

We love optimists. In fact, we depend on a few key optimists in our lives that bring us joy. We couldn't manage without them. But don’t count the pessimists out when you’re looking for the bright side. We can see what's in that glass just as well as you. :) 

--Brandie and Chelsea